Pairings: Katherine/Robin, somewhat implied past Bree/Katherine
Rating: PG-13, almost R
Word Count: 2251
Spoilers: 6.16 Chromolume 7
Summary: Katherine reflects over her attraction to women, especially Robin and how she makes Katherine realize so much more about herself.
Author’s Note: I haven’t written a fanfic I was happy with, or even posted for that matter, in almost two years, but this came to me after seeing this week’s episode. Enjoy!
Robin made her want to stop denying herself. But at the same time, she had made Katherine want to go further into the closet she had created for so many years.
She admired other women for years, never making too much of it. She noticed that it would become even more so before or after her men troubles, which, of course, were many. But that wasn’t to say that her attraction to women, to Robin, was because of her failures with men.
It wasn’t until a couple years ago that she started to question her feelings. Adam had left her. Dylan was about to be moving out. And her best friend Bree was falling apart. Her husband was to be in jail for almost killing Mike. Who would have known how he would play into her life later.
But it was Bree who would be at her doorstep late at night, tempted to drink the bottle of wine Orson had left behind. Katherine would comfort her, wipe her tears away, and she realized just how beautiful she was, despite all the imperfections. That was what made her beautiful. Everyone still thought she was perfect, even with a felon husband, yet Katherine was starting to discover who she really was.
Eventually Bree got to be better, but there was definitely this bond between the two. So to toast the beginnings of their business, as well as how they together had pushed through Orson being in prison, Katherine decided to treat Bree to one of the best restaurants in town. They laughed and enjoyed each other’s company.
But that night when they returned to Bree’s, Katherine could tell she wasn’t better, only putting up that façade that she had perfected. That was where Bree could be perfect.
Katherine wrapped her arms around Bree as they sat on her couch. Bree had shown so much vulnerability to her, and this was the breaking point.
“Katherine, if you don’t mind, could you stay here tonight?” she said, wiping away any remnants of tears. “I’ve been alone far too many nights.”
Katherine could feel her heart beating slightly faster, but pushed it away. “Of course.”
She walked her upstairs to Bree’s bedroom. Bree undressed herself with Katherine trying to look away but not being able to resist. They lied in bed, close together as friends would usually be, when Bree nestled close to Katherine and cried again. It was dark, so no one would see these tears. Katherine wrapped her arms around Bree as she cried, eventually her tears stopping not long before falling asleep.
“Thank you,” she said, giving Katherine a brief, what could be seen as friendly, kiss on the mouth.
Katherine felt her heart beating faster yet again. She wanted to kiss back, but knew that couldn’t test Bree, not when she was this vulnerable. But Bree brought her just a little closer to let one more tear fall and kissed her once more with just a little more passion.
When Bree moved away slightly and didn’t come in for another, Katherine said, “You’re welcome.”
Bree soon fell asleep, but Katherine was unable to sleep for many hours. She ran her hand down Bree’s face, her hair, and even when Bree stirred, she didn’t stop. She could tell that even while she was sleeping, it was comforting her.
Katherine held onto Bree as she finally fell asleep, sometime early morning. It was only a couple hours later that Katherine woke up to see Bree already all dressed, looking perfect as usual.
“So breakfast is all ready downstairs if you want,” she said.
Katherine went and had breakfast and watched Bree walk around the kitchen. She was better now. Of course, they would still be friends, but it wouldn’t be quite as intimate as before. Plus, it was only a matter of months before Orson would be home.
Katherine ignored any feelings of regret, of not doing something or saying something, and just continued being the best friend she could be to Bree. Eventually her feelings faded with time, especially when Orson returned and Katherine discovered what this Mike guy was all about.
She was in therapy when her therapist asked her about all the relationships in her life. She never mentioned Bree, at least not like that. She mentioned how they were friends, and then when she lost herself, Bree pushed her away to save herself. She understood why Bree did it, but it was still painful. Although not nearly as painful as all the pain she endured with Susan and Mike.
But she began to understand that too. And when Mrs. McCluskey visited, she felt angry, but could feel her life coming back together. She hugged everyone and felt connections starting again, although yet again, after this breakdown, nothing would be the same.
And then there was Robin. Everyone judged her so quickly, just as they had judged her so quickly. She knew that she was a stripper, but could tell that she had stories no one knew and loved things that no one cared enough to know. She was judged as a stripper just by helping Mike crack his back.
When Robin moved into her place, she could see the beautiful woman underneath the large breasts, blonde hair, and legs anyone would want. But she could also see what everyone was talking about.
And then Robin kissed her. She hadn’t been kissed by a woman in years, and she had not been expecting it. But she enjoyed it. It was brief, but it was one kiss that she knew she would remember for a while.
Katherine hadn’t expected Robin to tell her that the kiss was more than just pushing the men away, and she hadn’t expected Robin to tell her something that had lingered in the back of her mind for years. That was why she vehemently denied it. It wasn’t true. Dating women wouldn’t be any better than dating men. She had had enough heartbreak to think that she knew that.
But she got to know Robin. This was a woman she could laugh with and be herself with. Neither had to put up a façade as a stripper or what some would call a former crazy woman. Katherine could feel her heart beat just a little faster around her. She would get nervous over small things, but cover up the way her voice cracked with something else.
One night, Katherine saw Robin come out of the bathroom, only wearing a towel. There was brief moment of silence before Katherine walked past her, enough to smell her pomegranate shampoo scent from the shower, and said, “Good night.”
That was the night before Katherine had the dream with the French toast and the syrup and unhooking Robin’s bra. She woke up and could feel her body hot and her blood racing. She hadn’t had a dream about any woman in years, and even those dreams were not anything like this.
She saw Robin come in the door and had the urge to kiss her. But she knew she couldn’t do that. She was straight after all, not even with the few times in her life where she admired a woman a little more than just friends or had a brief kiss with some gorgeous woman.
She had therapy that day. That was the first time she admitted anything about desiring a woman, but her therapist, for the most part, said what she wanted to hear. But there was a part of her that wanted to hear that it was okay. No one had told her it was okay for her to love, want, desire another woman.
She tried pushing Robin away. She was close to getting Robin out of her life so that she wouldn’t have to deal with these feelings. She would probably find some nice guy someday and never have to worry about loving a woman again. But then Robin looked at her with those eyes, and for the first time in her life, Katherine felt like she could do this.
She could feel herself still hesitant, but with her heart beating faster than ever and feeling on the verge of sobbing because she pushed the one woman, the one person who was beginning to really care for her, she walked upstairs and opened the door.
She didn’t know if it was the glasses of wine she had been drinking to prepare to tell Robin to leave or if it was something else, but she kissed Robin first. She could feel Robin’s mouth opening and taking her in. It wasn’t long before Katherine found that bra strap that she imagined taking off not too many hours before.
She didn’t know what to do, but tried her best to figure it out. She moved her hands slowly over Robin’s bare breasts to hear her moan. She kissed down from Robin’s neck and down toward her heart to feel it beating as fast, if not faster, than her own. Her hands eventually found their way lower, and she knew there was no going back.
By the time Robin was naked, Katherine could feel herself naked, even though she still had her pants on. She felt that she was finally being exposed to someone, but she tried to embrace it. And she did. Touching Robin in ways that made her twitch with her excitement, Katherine did whatever she could discover to make her happy. When Robin’s breaths finally began to slow down, Katherine could feel her zipper being pulled down, and her pants and panties being removed.
She was naked, but when Robin looked in her eyes, she felt something that she couldn’t describe. But when Robin moved from Katherine’s breasts to the growing heat between her legs, that was something she couldn’t describe.
Hours passed by before she could see Robin falling asleep aside her. Katherine couldn’t sleep. She didn’t know what this meant. She wasn’t a lesbian. She had had too much wine. She had let Robin seduce her. She loved men. After all, she had been obsessed with Mike for how long?
Then of all people to knock on the door, Susan showed up. And she wanted to be friends. Katherine’s life was coming together at the same time it was getting all the more crazy. Well maybe crazy wasn’t the best word to put it.
Robin came downstairs and kissed her. Surprised, but unsure what to say in front of Susan, Katherine said nothing until Robin reminded her she had her cousin’s wedding to go to. Robin ran back upstairs while Katherine led Susan to the kitchen.
She tried to explain what was happening, but she didn’t understand it herself. Yet, the fact that Susan was the first person she was telling about this meant something. It meant she was growing, finally living her life without the events of last year in front of her.
After Susan left, Robin was preparing to leave. Many things ran through her mind to say, but she knew she couldn’t say anything now. Robin gave her a quick kiss before leaving.
Katherine went and took a shower with the pomegranate shampoo that had first tempted her nights before. It reminded her of Robin and the night they had just had. But without Robin there, Katherine started to deny her feelings.
She had to go talk to someone. After she got ready for the day, she decided to go over to Bob and Lee’s place. They were gay; they had to understand where she was coming from.
They did, somewhat. But they pushed her further into denial than she already was. They were basically saying it was a one-time fluke and that she would have known. But how could they have known the thoughts that Katherine had hid for so many years? She guessed she would just keep hiding them.
She waited anxiously for Robin to get home. She wasn’t going to drink wine; she was going to tell Robin sober that she had been drunk and that it didn’t mean anything. She opened a book to distract her. It did little good, but at least kept her away from looking at the clock.
Then she heard the key turn. There was her heart beating all the faster again. Robin made a joke about marriage, but Katherine tried to ignore it and face the issue at hand. Both meaning to and not, she pulled away when Robin tried to kiss her. That made the blow just a little easier to do.
She tried to say she had been drunk. She tried to say she had been getting over being crazy. But Robin could see through it all. That beautiful smile broke her down, but Katherine tried to hold her ground.
Robin sat down next to Katherine and kissed her. It was a simple kiss, but Katherine could feel so much in that kiss. It felt right.
“Okay, it counted,” she said and meant it.
“Thank you,” Robin replied, smiling.
Katherine kissed Robin, wrapping her hands around her head and bringing her close. She could feel Robin unhooking her bra this time, and she smiled while they were kissing. Robin smiled back and deepened the kiss before removing Katherine’s blouse.
Again, their clothes were removed. This time, it wasn’t in the bedroom, but the living room. It was more exposure that Katherine was finally starting to be okay with. Robin was the only person who she needed to tell her it was okay.